Having to look in the Shadows

We are winding up the end of the Sun in Leo, and I am looking forward to Sun in Virgo. I think it was bring a lot of time of making lists, and ridding what no longer serves, health decisions and changes in daily habits.
I have been focusing on the Sun, but today, I want to turn it in a complete 180, your Shadow. Not your physical one, but your shadow self. We are headed towards the darker part of the year, and it is a great time for introspection. Your shadow self is all that remains unfinished, your preconceived notions which make it frustrating when others don't live up to your standards, that addiction you deal with (or don't) and bad habits. It can manifest in your low self-esteem (think of those thoughts in which you talk badly about yourself, to yourself, because of something that happens, or a mistake you made), anger or trust issues. Everyone has one, and if you don't think you do, there is probably some shadow work to be done on that thought alone.

It is important that before you begin shadow work, that you are in a place emotionally that you can handle it. It can be downright cruel at times, picking yourself apart, seeing every flaw that you have. If at anytime while attempting shadow work, you become depressed, or suicidal, please seek help. Set aside, until you are better able to handle the stress that it can create. Also, shadow work will help you learn to be nice to yourself. You have to be able to (and if you can't now, hopefully through shadow work you can learn to) be nice to yourself, accept that you are human and make mistakes. Through shadow work, the point is not to vanquish it and become perfect, it is to become aligned with it, and to retrain your thinking regarding yourself, others and to develop a healthier self-image.

So when I was first looking in to shadow work, it seemed so daunting of how to even begin. You can ask anyone who does shadow work, and they will all give you a different way of achieving this. The key is to finding a way that will allow you to be completely honest with yourself, and talk yourself through what you react the way you do to certain triggers. One way that I have noticed helps me, is to journal whenever I have a moment when I think someone is completely stupid, annoying, etc., or anytime an intense emotional reaction occurs. I write out what happened. Then I look at why. For example:

Person X said "such and such", and it made me so ____________ (insert emotion here).

Now, ask yourself why it made you feel that emotional response. It might seem something like this: Their comment made me angry, because they made me feel inadequate/rejected/threatened/etc.

Now, say what they said made you feel rejected, now you need to figure out why you have such an issue with rejection. Were you rejected often by parents, or in trying to achieve your goals, by friends or partners? Once you have it figured out, it is up to you to let go of that influence. If you were rejected in trying to achieve goals, maybe you should set new goals (starting easily, don't set yourself up for failure), and work on accomplishing those. If you felt rejected by people, you might want to try affirmations while meditating, like:
"I am not others opinions of me
I am not my failures
I am human, capable of success and failure
And I am not defined by either"
(That of course is s rough draft. The idea with affirmations is that you are rewiring the way that you think).

Some people will use Tarot for Shadow Work (See this book HERE for a great guide on spreads to use, etc). Some use magick. Some use black mirrors. I will try to add on to these things as I try other methods. Currently I just use a lot of writing and self-talk. I also look at certain aspects of my natal chart, such as oppositions, squares, planets that are not in optimal placement, 12th house, 8th House and Pluto and Saturn. Try to see what you can find in your chart.

But take a look, and figure out how the Shadow can help you, instead of hinder you. Take back your power.

Sun in Leo!

Today we welcome the Sun in to Leo, the zodiac sign symbolized by the Lion. Today I will be making my Leo Candle, to help me as I work through the energies that this period will bring. Along with a friend, I am journeying through Christopher Penczak's Living Temple of Witchcraft, Volume 2, which explores the Sun travelling through each Zodiac sign. The wisdom of this sign that I will be embracing is creativity and taking charge of the things in my life that need sovereignty. The Sun gives us life. Simple as that. As it is the center of our Universe, so is Leo energy center stage. These people are creators and sometimes, they live only under that persona of the actor. Another part of my working this month will to figure out what parts of myself I am "playing", and discarding those to allow my true self shine through.

With the creativity aspect of Sun in Leo, I realize that the creation of this blog has come at no better time. However, with whatever we create, it is important to remember that we are not what we create. I think it is easy to get stuck in describing yourself as the things you do, the things you think, and the things that you feel. These identities give us purpose in our life, however, they can overcome. I think back to a time when I was in college and was playing volleyball. I had been a volleyball star all through high school, making Most Valuable Player, and even setting high school records! I was on top of the world. I was getting to go play volleyball in college, nothing could go wrong. Except that it did. A month in to my first season, I tore my Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) and was benched for the rest of the season, and didn't play again after that, at fear of injuring myself again. I was devastated. I no longer knew who I was. At the time, I was Mormon, and tried to seek comfort in the religion, but it never came. I realize now that it was because I had associated myself entirely with this volleyball image, that I no longer knew who I was when it was gone. I still mourn the loss of that passion, but I realize it was a necessary loss to get to where I am now, as it triggered a series of events turning my life completely 180 degrees. So this month, I will work on creating, to EXPRESS myself, not to MAKE myself. What will you do to utilize this Leo energy?